Divorce is tough on kids and if you are going through an uncontested divorce it is a good idea to not discuss your divorce problems and what you think about their other parent at all. Kids go out to school and tell their teachers and friends things they hear at home. So, handle the uncontested divorce well and think about your child’s emotional welfare. Do consider what they are thinking about their parents at such a difficult time in their lives. Here are a few things that you need not tell your kids:
Do NOT Tell Your Mother/Father What I Just Told You!
Kids hate to be part of a situation where they have to lie. So be honest with them at all times. If you are going through an uncontested divorce they are probably thinking which parent they will be living with. Asking to keep secrets can add to the stress they are faced with. They will worry a lot about both of you and will get confused. So never tell them things you feel they will go and tell your spouse.
You are Just Like Your Father
If you are divorcing your husband, telling your kids that they are just like their father would mean that you have the same hatred for them as you do for your husband. If you do not want them to feel hated, never tell them anything like this. They are bound to feel more insecure.
Do NOT Say Bad Things about your Wife
When a father says bad things about his wife to his kids, they will lose respect and build resentment. If you want your kids to feel loved and to feel secure then do not discuss her with them at all. Trying to win over the child by saying negative things will have adverse effects.
I Cannot Afford that because your Dad did not give me enough Money!
When you are out shopping with kids make sure you have ample money to buy them what they want. Telling kids you are not able to afford things because your spouse does not give you enough money will have a negative impact on the child. Such information is unnecessary for them. They may never ask for money to buy lunch or buy books or to get toys they must have. When kids do not get what they want they can get depressed.
Do NOT Talk to your Father/Mother over the Phone
If you see your kids talking to your other half during the divorce process, do not stop them. Let them have their conversations. The law does not allow you to stop the child from communicating with their other parent.
Parents that are getting an uncontested divorce need to think about their child’s well being. It is advisable to think about all the psychological and emotional implications your break up may have on the child. Attend parenting classes if you think it will help you learn more about what the child is going through. Talking to a child psychologist to gain more knowledge will also help.
Kids have a habit of thinking too deeply and whatever you tell them will be taken seriously. They may start to blame one parent over the other on their own. This will make them insecure and withdrawn from their environment. As part of the growing up process, they deserve the love and care of both parents. Alienating them from one parent will not be good for them. Both parents have to sit together and make a parenting plan if they are getting the uncontested divorce.