Braden Burson, we feel your pain. We really do.

If you haven’t yet seen it, Burson’s Twitter rant has gone viral. The young Starbucks barista offers his candid response to the Unicorn Frappuccino, the ubiquitous coffee giant’s latest creation. (Read more about all of that here.)

The fairy-dusted Frapp is off to a spectacular start. And Burson, for one, isn’t happy about it. Sure, it’s colorful. Like, Lisa Frank colorful. And yes, it contains tropical fruity goodness, for all you mango lovers out there. Plus, how can you not love anything “unicorn,” right? Unicorn toast fans, this will ROCK. YOUR. WORLD. And maybe even your hairstyle?

Unfortunately, it will also load you up with a whopping 76 grams of sugar (Venti-size). So before you hit your local ’Bucks and place your order, you need to know exactly what you’re sipping in that technicolor smoothie.

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Here are five good reasons NOT to order the Unicorn Frapp.

1. The Grande size contains 59 grams of sugar

If you consider that daily sugar recommendations are 25 grams for women and 36 grams for men, that means a single drink contains two-plus days’ worth of sugar.

2. The calorie count is 410 for a Grande Unicorn Frapp

You could also spend those calories to eat any number of hearty (and healthier) snacks including: 1 ounce each of Cheddar and Brie cheese, 4 Triscuits, and a 5-oz glass of wine. Or a bottle of light beer, ¼ cup of dry-roasted peanuts, and 16 small pretzels twists.

3. Artificial sweeteners, condensed milk, colored syrups, and preservatives are among the things you’ll be sipping

That sweet taste and hypnotic color comes at a cost when you break down the ingredients. The magical blue swirl? Actually a mix of White Chocolate Mocha Sauce, Classic Syrup, and Sour Blue Powder. As ABC News points out, “When looked at closely, the only pure ingredients in a Unicorn Frappuccino are milk and ice.”

4. It’s not even coffee

If a caffeine boost is what you’re after, it’s not there. The best you may do is a serious sugar rush.

5. The Unicorn Frappuccino Snapchat filter is … downright creepy

(Unless it’s on your dog, then it’s kind of cute.)

Healthier alternatives

So, what to do when you need a boost and the nearby Starbucks is calling your name? Here are three healthier alternatives to enjoy instead.

  • The Purple Drink off the secret menu. It’s made with passion-fruit tea, soymilk, blackberries, and vanilla syrup (which you can customize to suit your tastes and desired sweetness level).
  • An Iced Vanilla Latte. “Vanilla syrup added to signature espresso and ice cold milk, this is a great option for lovers of all things sweet. Opt for a Tall Iced Vanilla Latte for a quick pick me up, at 143 calories.”
  • A Chai Tea Latte. If you opt for a Short with skimmed milk, you’re only racking up 103 calories.